In the past an upcoming doctor’s appointment might flair my anxiety. My mind would dwell on all the possible outcomes so that I could prepare for what may come. We all know I would have circled the dark outcomes.
This morning I woke up surrounded by love. In the arms of my love. In Michigan we have been in a bit of a heat wave this week and knew it wouldn’t be long after my appointment before it was 102 degrees out and I believe it was already 90 degrees while we drove almost an hour to my appointment. It was hot as hell all day but the three of us didn’t seem to mind all that much. John got us coffee on the way and while I was there he took our teenager to the park. I know it would probably seem weird to most that I was smiling and making jokes early in the morning on a scaldingly hot day at a mammogram appointment, but I was. When it was over I let John know I was done. I went out into the heat and pulled out my book and read for a few minutes happily before my family came to get me. When they pulled up I could see both of them beaming smiles at me. We drove along Lake St. Clair and stopped at restaurant where my best friend met us for lunch. Everyone smashed their food, chatting and hanging out by the water. She observed for the first time the incredible strides my son has taken in the last six-months, proudly delighted. When we were finished there was no Michigan goodbye because it was 102 degrees! We said our reasonably lengthened goodbyes, (this is where John realized we left Mr teenagers cup and he dashed back to retrieve it, successfully) then headed home. Later we went out to check on the garden and Mr teenager joined us to pick raspberries and strawberries. You could hear the “nom nom” while he “nom nommed” from across the yard. It makes me smile right now while writing this. Picturing us all nurturing the garden and picking berries.
This was the sort of day I thought was only fictional. It was also a lesson in perspective. My man made sure I felt safe and loved on a day that could have been terrifying if I focused on the wrong parts. It was a wonderful day spent together even if it was a little too hot and humid and I had to get my boobs smashed for science. This is what they meant when they said how important family is. I love my family.
I love my life.
Be kind to yourself and to others.
