Talking about my past with a nonchalant viewpoint is either proof I have moved beyond my past or that I have buried it so deeply into the depths of my being from the realization it doesn't serve me to dwell. There comes these defining moments in your life where you have to make seemingly hard …
Triggers, defense mechanisms and relapse, oh my!
Psychological and emotional triggers have been a plenty in 2020. Sometimes it is hard to see the good in your life, in yourself or in other people. One of the most difficult things about my progress is how I look and seem "good". I have survived for so long that attempting to do more than …
Continue reading "Triggers, defense mechanisms and relapse, oh my!"
Rant
All I really want is some balance. Balance between much needed alone time and time spent with creative adventurous people who are still unflinchingly kind on their darkest of days.People who make you feel safe while seemingly doing nothing at all. People who love animals, nature, books, hot summer days, time in the water, random …
Home Stretch
As I near the end of this semester with 5 finals looming over me, I stopped and took a moment to appreciate how far I have actually come. This year I have made huge strides in trauma therapy, though I know I still have so far to go. I FINALLY finished my associates degree this …
Invisible
Invisible. Invisible illness, invisible pain, invisible struggles, invisible sacrifices, invisible compromises. My mind roars violently as it whispers things to me, things to me it always has. Things no one should hear from their own mind. Nightmares brew and rumble with agony and vengeance, echoing throughout the day. Exhaustion is just life sometimes when your …
Choices
Circumstances do not change unless we change them. If we do nothing then we accept those circumstances. If the path changes we cannot bury our heads in sand and think of only the past. We must always move forward as the sun continues to burn and when it no longer can and all is over …
In my head
All my own work.
A thought
It’s hard when you have a diagnosed mental illness. Even if it is a neurological chemical issue. Some people may be more understanding than others. I’ve learned over the years it is nearly impossible to fully comprehend the depths of a mental illness for some even if they themselves suffer from one or another and …
How do I?
It has been quite a while since I have allowed or even tempted to have my fingers dance upon the keys of my trusty laptop. I am continuing to fight through life in a way that brings purpose to it and with many goals that show light at the end of the tunnel. After busting …
Goodbye
Life has been a whirlwind roller coaster of chaos lately. I’m not sure if I haven’t written because I had nothing to say or too much. My life shifted in some extremely uncomfortable ways and as I purge through the trauma of my past blindfolded, the emotions and feelings tied to them erupt seemingly from …